Log in

After having an online journal over 9 years (deadj account created 2002-06-04 12:49:58) I have to say, boy have things changed.

I went from being a depressed teenager, to someone who would do anything for what i thought was friendship, from going to abused to 'saved', to becoming a mom and actually finally growing up, to being a more happier and back on track of being where i want to be in life.

I havent written about most of this in detail and isnt that what a journal is for? I used to write, pretty well from what i was told. I do miss it as well as some of my other hobbies. I want to start writting more and stop wasting this journal. Ive made what, 5 posts in the past 2 years?

Just have to get back in writting mode.
In the mean time Im sitting here in the dark sitting 1:1 with a patient on my Birthday. Ive had worse I guess. At least the tv in the room works and a fellow worker let me borrow his laptop.
I stopped getting gifts from my parents around when I turned 20. And Im sure as soon as Im off work the fighting will continue with Zak, then some sleep, then back to work.
I think I'll get myself a Samsung SH100. I wonder if uploading pics to Google+ will be an option on its wifi, since its so new.

... see im bored of typing already. Ill have to work on finding my zone again if i actually plan on following through...


Riley's going to Utah with my parents tomorrow. Im not quite sure how i feel about that. I know i'll miss him tons. Every time my mind wanders and i think "ill get to go out more cause i dont need to find a babysitter, yay" i immediatley start feeling guilty. He's also had some behavioral issues the past few months that i just dont understand. Like pooping his pants. He never did it at school but it seems like every day the second he got home i'd start to smell it. Ive punished him every way possible and he still continued. Hes better now but it still happens at least once a week. Being an only child hes still not good with sharing his toys with the neighbor kids and stuff. My parents know of the issues but maybe they'll straighten him out.... which makes me feel like a failure.

I can think of lots of pros, as well as some cons. but I think in the end maybe it'll be overall good for him. In the very least he'll have gone from living with my little siblings for 2 years, to not seeing them for almost 3 years, to getting to live with them for 1.5 months. He should have fun. I just want him to be happy and enjoy his time there. we'll see.

LJ Games...

Gah... LJ gets some games/apps and I STILL cant play them @work :(


Random links I find while working and dont have time to fully investigate/read/admire/laugh or theyre just simply blocked at work. Yes a few are from, or found via reddit. other stuff is just random crap.


Book Art/Scupltures - http://www.mymodernmet.com/profiles/blogs/the-book-surgeon-15-pieces
Fort Dog - http://i.imgur.com/gYCka.jpg
Guy who makes cool cosplay - http://protagonist4hire.blogspot.com/
The Sexes: The Lavender Panthers - http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,908008,00.html
Pranks - http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/e1s8u/my_evil_genius_friend_planted_one_of_these_in_my/
Ghost sound device - http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/c427/
WWI Devastation - http://www.abc.net.au/news/video/2010/11/05/3058899.htm
yeah.... http://cuteoverload.com/
Baby Andelite Munny - http://www.hiracdelest.com/blog/?m=201002
Seller of Ax munny - http://bananafairy59.livejournal.com/profile
Sanity Rally - http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-100-best-signs-at-the-rally-to-restore-sanity
Math/Science mumbo - http://lbrandy.com/blog/2010/11/using-genetic-algorithms-to-find-starcraft-2-build-orders/
Dr turns human skin into blood - http://www.vancouversun.com/health/Canadian+scientists+transform+human+skin+into+blood/3791337/story.html
old school - http://i.imgur.com/lhPgN.jpg (http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/e2l80/classy/)
Qwerty to Dvorak converter - http://wbic16.xedoloh.com/dvorak.html
Teachers like this exist - http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/e2lva/did_i_go_overboard/
Photography and TSA story - http://www.pixiq.com/contributors/lepp
fat people - http://taintedburrito.blogspot.com/
mormon.org troll - http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/e2mht/4chan_trolling_mormonorg_chat_pic/
? 'illegal drugs'- http://www.reddit.com/r/atheism/comments/e2o3g/what_if_the_universe_is_just_an_egg/
math comic - http://xkcd.com/816/
Ye old = The old; thorn - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thorn_(letter)
dirty flow chart -http://i.imgur.com/JGjeP.gif
old np h4x0rz - http://blog.spywareguide.com/2009/06/hackers-target-neopets-users.html
street view [W]in - http://senorgif.memebase.com/2010/08/26/funny-gifs-google-maps-win/#comments
Godgle street view surv machine - http://fuchs.uti.at/389/
slopdog replacement? - http://www.gaminggutter.com/ or Logicalgamer or Neocodex
change msg on hp printers - http://lifehacker.com/312717/change-the-default-message-on-hp-printers
how tech support is really done - http://xkcd.com/627/
hijetter - http://www.phenoelit-us.org/fr/tools.html
blackberry's love printers - https://appworld.blackberry.com/webstore/content/1268
30/30 work cycle - http://chetansurpur.com/blog/2010/11/magic-work-cycle.html
reddit barista - http://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/e4as0/i_think_my_barista_reddits/
doyounomi - http://i.imgur.com/AzJha.jpg
Cancer cure? - http://www.montrealgazette.com/health/Doctor+dandy+idea+leads+promising+cancer+finding/3805715/story.html

wolvie viral ad - http://senorgif.memebase.com/2010/11/10/funny-gifs-wolverine-gets-a-manicure/#comments
get around security - http://senorgif.memebase.com/2010/11/08/funny-gifs-problem-security/#comments
TSA violates cancer woman - http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1331346/Cancer-survivor-forced-prosthetic-breast-TSA-agents-airport-pat-down.html
Giant rats starve a villiage - http://news.bbc.co.uk/earth/hi/earth_news/newsid_9198000/9198744.stm
google job interview - http://paultyma.blogspot.com/2010/11/google-interviewing-story.html
thought it would be lame... proven wrong - http://damnyouautocorrect.com/
nick the trainer http://www.eastbaytrainer.com/
Christina’s cut out carbs, and alcohol, although she’s not a big drinker. She’s eating fish oil to break down fat and pak choi and edamame nearly every meal.

transparent animals - http://www.chilloutpoint.com/animals/7-transparent-amazing-animals-wonders-of-nature.html
links - http://2leep.com/news/59006/1753/
diet/exercise - http://www.lifescript.com/Body/Diet/Diet-plans/Diet_Success_Its_All_in_Your_Head.aspx?utm_source=mgid&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=007
pencil2pen - http://dornob.com/liquid-pencil-lead-free-erasable-ink-pen-dries-over-3-days/
stay up for 11 days - http://health.howstuffworks.com/human-body/parts/16-unusual-facts-about-the-human-body.htm
Am Idol cancer survivor - http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/home/50731091-76/williams-cancer-idol-mission.html.csp
'10-'11 books - http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/3615.YA_Books_of_2010_2011_I_m_LIVING_to_read_#7719245
Book covers - http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/5296.Best_Book_Covers_for_2010#7719245
PEGASUS - http://www.scribd.com/doc/36512923/Robin-McKinley-Esampler
nano watch - http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1104350651/tiktok-lunatik-multi-touch-watch-kits
matchstick sculptor - http://aacton.gladbrook.iowapages.org/id4.html
clockwork laptop - http://datamancer.net/steampunklaptop/steampunklaptop.htm
7th seal - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0050976/
Yeah - by usher *remix
shoes - http://awomanandhershoes.blogspot.com/2008/12/gianmarco-lorenzi-swarovski-stiletto.html
lion head shoes - http://www.chiq.com/gianmarco-lorenzi/lion-head-pumps
spine braclet - http://shop.notjustalabel.com/jewellery/4257
more jewelry - http://www.garbagedress.com/2010/06/bevel-jewelry-by-jonathan-goldstein.html
movies - http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/54027915.html#cutid1
photographer - http://marktheintern.blogspot.com/
" " - http://shanecoles.photoshelter.com/
'hack' fb profile photos - http://failbook.failblog.org/2010/12/15/funny-facebook-fails-how-to-hack-the-new-facebook-layout/
lazarus species - http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/wilderness-resources/photos/lazarus-species-13-extinct-animals-found-alive/coelacanth
disturbing movies - http://www.popcrunch.com/15-of-the-most-disturbing-films-ever-made/
abandoed places - http://myamazingfact.blogspot.com/2009/05/six-creepiest-abandoned-places.html
pod city - http://googlesightseeing.com/2008/01/the-mysterious-abandoned-pod-city-of-san-zhi/
mitsubishi's abandoned island - http://archibase.net/archinews/14101.html
light frog - http://junkerdwarff.blogspot.com/2009/08/this-cuban-tree-frog-was-all-lit-up.html
snow under a microscope - http://www.akirathedon.com/blobblog/snow-under-a-microscope/
new island created - http://www.funzug.com/index.php/nature/amazing-sight-in-the-south-pacific.html
^ thread - http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/eztnf/dudes_are_first_to_witness_a_new_island_being/
i dont give a fuck - http://i.imgur.com/kV7L6.jpg
type to shoot game - http://www.phoboslab.org/ztype/
mind = blown - http://i.imgur.com/6HBNJ.jpg
cant loot - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VbI5zcB8Ac
new obsession - http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/ezovg/so_ive_found_a_new_obsession/
random twitter twitter flashmob - http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/ezq3j/we_should_all_follow_a_random_person_on_twitter/
stealing snow - http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/eznct/just_stealing_some_snow/
nial through wood trick - http://www.wimp.com/nailtrick/
dear world - http://i.imgur.com/b5qxw.jpg
mormon porn (genious) - http://lolsnaps.com/?media_id=861&cat_type=image&order_type=latest&pagenum=1&utm_source=wahoha.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wahoha
pletora of movie/tv gifs - http://imperial-bedrooms.tumblr.com/
oh my yum, recipie? - http://www.2besatisfied.com/2011/01/wordless-wednesday-bacon-and-eggs.html
bottled water facts - http://imgur.com/llniM
pokè red - http://thecolligere.com/entertainment/video-games/pokeweird-shitred
sleep cycles - http://sleepyti.me/
image error lvl analyser (is it photoshoped?) - http://errorlevelanalysis.com/
Ghostly artist - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Grie
franklin expedition/northwest passage - http://www.athropolis.com/links/franklin.htm
fun default fb pics - http://www.thisblogrules.com/2010/02/facebook-default-pictures-are-more-fun-now.html?utm_source=wahoha.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wahoha
survived - http://top-10-list.org/2010/11/29/top-10-people-survived-after-getting-executed/?utm_source=wahoha.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wahoha
islands - http://www.touropia.com/island-cities-around-the-world/
bad plastic surgury - http://do-while.com/famous-plastic-surgery-victims/?utm_source=avalanchers.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=avalanchers#
dont avoid these symptoms - http://www.lifescript.com/Health/Everyday-Care/Health_Basics/10_Symptoms_Women_Shouldnt_Ignore.aspx?utm_source=2leep&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=001#
waste of time pics - http://do-while.com/mg/news.html http://travelvista.net/travelvista.net.html
lost civilization - http://www.travelvista.net/hidden-dimensions-ancient-civilizations/
japenese street fashion - http://worldmustbecrazy.net/amazing-insane-japanese-fashion-style?utm_source=wahoha.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=wahoha
abandoned towns - http://weburbanist.com/2008/10/28/12-abandoned-houses-deserted-neighborhoods-and-ghost-towns/
Peter Cushing vs Chuck Norris - http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e241/OMWOS/FFAC/4645_64a3_852.jpg
mindf*ck - http://shitbrix.com//hashed_silo_content/silo_content/43/resized/spirals-3866.jpg
amazing pics: http://bigpicture.ru/?p=33201 http://forum.pacyrus.com/showthread.php?t=33497
Old/New same pics - http://irinawerning.com/back-to-the-fut/back-to-the-future/
house gifs - http://astriasg.tumblr.com/tagged/House
I dont remember - http://www.bunrab.com/dailyfeed/2007September/dailyfeed_september-07_p2.html





Ghost Ship stories:

nook stuff-

reddit stuffs - http://www.reddit.com/r/science/comments/egmpw/wikileaks_reveals_china_conducting_insane/

Orecchiette recipies -

Follow these steps:

• Multiply the month (number) of your birth by 7
• Subtract 1
• Multiply by 13
• Add the day of your birth
• Add 3
• Multiply by 11
• Subtract the month of your birth
• Subtract the day of your birth
• Divide by 10
• Add 11
• Divide by 100

The number you have is your birthday in the form MM.DD


{N}eglected little journal....

My Dear neglected Journal.
I sit at work late at night thinking I'll write something. Or something happens and for the moment I feel I want to update... but never do.

My old layout was super messed up at work when I viewed you so I deleted it. Its time for a change anyway. For now it'll just be... very basic, and will probably stay that way as I have no desire to do anything HTML/Web buiding/Graphic related atm.

what to do... what to do.

Overheard an interesting convo tonight. A Marine talking to a new Corpsman about how the Marines give no thought of the Navy for the most part. No respect for what they do i guess. But when it comes to Corpsman, they absolutely respect and almost worship them. Not only have they gone through Navy Bootcamp as well as a modified Marine Bootcamp (shorter, and mostly to learn the Marine side things... and guns, still have to pass a Marine PRT which is basically double what the Navy requires: 3mile run instead of 1.5, and includes pullups)... they Earn the Gold Eagle and Anchor, something very 'sacred' (in a way) for Marines, but theyre doing Marine jobs and out there saving those who are injured (fallen), dragging them to saftey and saving their lives. Its like 2 jobs and they greatly respect that. He said he'd proudly take a bullet for the Corpsman anyday, and many have. Sure then the Corpsman would have to turn around and dig it out... but he'd be alive to do so. Altho he wasnt talking to me, made me smile and feel good for a few mins.

Time to draw up some blood....

Daily Highlight @work

When the Marine Recruits walk by and say "Good Morning/Afternoon Mam".
Reminds me of being in Bootcamp and having to say stuff like that... and now Im on the other end. Makes me feel like Im getting some sort of revenge or payback.
I should really update, ive just been so busy goin through then graduating bootcamp and all...
Slowly coming back to all the 'civilian' stuff like internet and cellphones. feels good :D

{R}eal Navy update

I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. I think they're the same ones from yesterday. I went from leaving 8 months from now to leaving in 2 weeks. I feel like theres so much to do, I almost dont know what to do with myself.

A little update... well probably big update.
As mentioned I was originally enlisted as an EM leaving in Dec, but I really wanted HM. Well... I got it, and I leave May 19th. Im nervous, excited, scared and anxious all rolled into one. What was that line from a movie?
I feel my skin is the only thing that is keeping me from bursting everywhere at once.

I wont deny Im also sad. I laid with Zak last night talking about a lot of things I'll miss. I'll definitally miss my family. I'll miss walking with Riley and the flowers he picks for me, even the dandelions, with huge smiles on his face. I'll miss his little quirky ways. Waking me up in the morning, or getting excited about a score on the computer. Announcing he wins at everything, even last night when he declared he won because he had no fish on his plate. Or a few weeks ago when he got on my exercise bike and Zak asked him if he was going to lose weight and Riley responded with "Im not losing Daddy, Im winning!"
I'll miss Zak a lot too, everything he does for me, even when I dont acknowledge him going out of his way or comfort zone to do so.

Zak asked me if I'd really want him and Riley to move out to IL when I start school and I had to keep myself from yelling out "YES!! OF COURSE!!"
Theres the concern of him switching schools, But if they move out in July, that would mean he would Start school and be there for at least 4-5 months, and then only have to switch schools once half way through the year when I finish school and get stationed somewhere. I did the same thing in Kindergarten and I think I turned out alright.

Ugh, so much to do, I better go start a list.

{N}avy here I come!

Im so excited, and nervous, and anxious, and excited, and scared....

I officially leave May 19th which is a hellofa lot sooner than I expected! Boy have I gotta work on my pushups and running like mad now!
I cant believe it'll come so soon. Im going to miss Rileys graduation but Zak will record it for me and we'll have a party for him before I leave Im sure.

So much I need to do and so little time ...

{N}avy bound?.... maybe

I got woken up by a call around 9am from my recruiter Nick, who called to tell me theres a Navy HM slot open and I needed to jump on it ASAP. I called the Chief he refered me to, found out the leave date was May 16th and got a huge butterfly wave in my stomach. I really really REALLY want this slot but I doubt myself physically. So I turned it down. Then I got a call from I guess his assistant or someone who talked tome for a bit and talked me into it. I hope I didnt screw myself by saying No the first time. I hope I still get it, I hope I didnt screw it up by saying no the first time. Now Im super nervous I wont get it =\

Im jsut waiting for the call to tell me I got it... and its been 40mins :(